Do you ever forget that you know how to make stuff? Like, with your hands?

My first impulse when I need something that’s sewn is to look on Etsy, so I suggested as much to Evan when we decided we need a draft snake for the front door to our apartment (we installed a door sweep already, but the dogs still obsess over the sliver of light that creeps in at night). He quickly located a cute one, made sure it was long enough, and placed an order.

Then the snake arrived, and we filled it with rice. All was grand until we put it down in front of the door and discovered that a rice-stuffed snake is shorter than a snake skin. It was also so skinny that it wouldn’t reach over the threshold to actually cover the gap under the door. Oops.

I was all set to hop back on Etsy and look for a replacement snake in a large enough size, when I remembered that Hey! I actually have a ton of fabric and a sewing machine! And I know how to sew! I’m no master seamstress by any means, but I can certainly sew a flat rectangle when the need arises.

And so, I got to work on the World’s Largest Draft Snake. It’s 38″ long, 16″ around, and filled to the fangs with 7 pounds of rice. It’s a DRAFT PYTHON.

I used a piece of my precious linen Grea fabric (previously seen acting as a curtain in the dressing room at my house), designed by Maria Vinka for IKEA’s 2007 PS line. This fabric makes me so happy. I don’t mind that it took me almost three years to find the right use for it!

No, I’m not going to post instructions. Okay, yes I will: (1) Measure fabric. Cut. (2) Fold in half, good side in. (3) Stitch on three sides. Invert. (4) Fill with dried rice or beans. (5) Stitch open end. DONE.

As I write this, the dogs are sleeping peacefully, draft python in place, hallway light sliver obscured. 60 miles north of here, the too-small-for-the-apartment draft garter snake is doing a great job blocking the gap under the door to the attic in the house. Everyone wins!